“The truth of ourselves is the root of our acting.” - Sanford Meisner
Do you have what it takes to drop the bullshit and start acting truthfully?
Shit just got real! They liked your self-tape of Ingrid from “White Oleander” and you’ve been called in for a talk with the casting agent. And now you’re sitting on a dark brown stool in the corner of a draughty 10m x 5m west London dance studio. It’s got walled mirrors down one side, painted white with bits falling off in places. Fold up chairs are assembled around a fold up table covered with a white paper table cloth. Actors are standing around in clusters, clasping their scripts and nervously going over their lines. Your heart is thumping in your chest, you can’t get any air into your lungs, you start to feel sick, light-headed and as if you’re gonna black out. You tell yourself that you know your lines and you’ve rehearsed over and over so there’s no need to feel so nervous. But in that moment it feels like a cold steel blade has slashed open your gut and you jump up from the stool, toppling it over as you dash for the toilets, the doors swinging violently behind you on the way out. The casting agent shakes their head and rifles through their papers for the name of the next candidate.
“Let’s run the scene, and try to take on my feedback this time”. The acting tutor’s blue shirt is creased, a 5 o clock shadow on his brown skin. His face is frowning wearily. “Ok’ you croak. You start saying your lines. You feel stiff as a board. You’re aware that you’re not connecting with the words or your scene partner You feel numb and not in your body. You hyper-focus on the unimpressed faces of your tutor and peers and the background radiator hum in the room. All you’re aware of is how you’re fucking up the reading and it feels worse than Annalise Keating must feel as she finishes off an entire vodka bottle in “ How To Get Away With Murder”.
THE PROBLEM
Acting has been your dream since you were a child. You enjoy the playfulness of it, the fun and joy of it. You love vibing off your scene partner when you do a dialogue and the team spirit of being part of a production or show. It energises you, grips you. You believe that we should follow our dream in life and acting is your dream. You consider that things happen for a reason and that there is a higher plan. You believe acting is your vocation but you fear that you’ll never be a successful at it.
Performance anxiety means your lines go out of your head and you’re no longer in your body or in the moment. Rather than focussing on and listening to your scene partner you’re in your anxious head. You get so nervous you can’t connect with the text and the emotions you felt when rehearsing disappear and you feel tense and stiff. After the rehearsal you feel despondent, lost, embarassed, insecure and jealous of your succesful peers.
Stuck in a dead-end boring job in debt and being pitied by all your friends - that thought plays on your mind in bed night. You fret that the longer you stay doing something you hate, the more drained you’ll feel and the less energy you’ll have to dedicate to your acting. You despair that you will stop enjoying acting. Not to mention the financial struggle of trying to pay for acting classes out of a job that pays you less than you are worth. You hate that you are so hyper-sensitive to critical feedback from your acting teachers and ashamed that you can’t feel happy for your peers who are doing well, instead constantly comparing yourself to them.
You’d never admit this to anyone but you also fear that you’re aging and that you’ll lose your looks and get stuck with minor roles. You worry that by trying to make it in acting you’ll miss the boat in terms of finding a partner and having children. Comparing yourself to Zoe Saldana and Nia Long on Instagram every day stresses you out, as does travelling to a shitty day job by tube in the rush hour and bad skin days that your Bubble Slam Dunk moisturiser can’t fix.
Sabotaging your acting career is what freaks you out most of all. For example, your fear of letting go of control, going numb or disconnecting from your body, not to mention stupid things like getting drunk the night before an audition. You’re so fucking scared of sabotaging your dream, and you feel helpless to control these negative behaviours.
A fairy godmother who understands you and helps you get over your anxieties, now that would be nice. They’d help you unlock the true you that has promise and talent so that you can finally start acting more truthfully. They’d help you feel more grounded in your acting. You’d feel calmer, more present and more able to show up in your classes, less distracted by mental noise and anxiety. You’d feel less tense when acting and more able to breathe and release in a scene. You’d be able to focus on and really listen to your scene partner and be present with them. You’d deepen your work and listen to your instincts more. You’d connect more to the text and bring more physicality into your acting.
Transforming not just your acting but your life. You’d feel more confident and empowered in relationships and your day job. You’d trust yourself more and feel like you come from a more grounded place when making life choices. You’d feel more able to find a better day job and choose your friends and dates more carefully.
A dream role in Bridgerton? Wow! Maybe by working with this fairy Godmother you could create a shift that brings that wish closer.
THE SOLUTION
Fairy godmother? “No!’ Coach -therapist? ‘Yes!” What if there was a coach-therapist who ‘got’ you and helped you find the tools so that you can learn to relax and let go of unhelpful behaviours. They do this in a non-patronising way and without giving you advice but by facilitating you to find your own answers. You sign up for a package of 3-month or 6-month weekly sessions which starts by the two of you decidiing together on the specific goals you want to address. The approach is holistic and each session you are invited to connect with your embodied experience. The sessions invite you to be more relational and focus on the ‘between’ so that you develop skills to bring to your duologues. You do experiments such as getting your body to speak so that you connect with your body more when acting. You do Gestalt 2-chair work to speak with and get to know your critical voice, anxious parts and your saboteur. You do EMDR resourcing techniques which you use as a tool in your acting as well as in your day to day living. You do attachment-focussed EMDR to target and convert negative beliefs into positive beliefs. You also try IFS parts work and it really helps you to feel less overwhelmed by your anxious part and find ways to calm it.
Challenges, breakthroughs and surprises are part of the process. The challenges are getting over your shame and embarassment. You feel uncomfortable delving into your childhood and want to protect your parents from judgement. The coach-therapist stresses we are not there to blame your parents, only to identify how childhood beliefs originated. Doing the weekly therapy work, having to show up whether you feel like it or not is hard at times. At first you feel worse as the band aids are peeled off so the emotional wounds can be thoroughly processed and healed. It’s also tricky when they call you out on some of your behaviours.
A breakthrough happens. You start to understand your unhelpful behaviours and develop more compassion for them. You feel more distant from them and they don’t hold the same power over you. It’s upfliting to feel that your coach-therapist is on your side and wants what you want. This motivates you to do the work in and out of the sessions. You start to realise that the distance to travel between where you are and where you want to be is not as far as you thought. You just need to pluck up the courage to overcome that huge initial fear and let go and trust the process. You’re reminded of “A Year of Yes’ by Shonda Rhimes.
Grounded in your acting starts to feel like your new normal. You’re calmer and more present in your classes. You’re less distracted by mental noise and anxiety. You’re less tense when acting and more able to breathe and release in a scene. You focus on and really listen to your scene partner. You listen to your instincts more and your work deepens. You connect to the text and bring more physicality into your performance. You’re more confident and empowered in other areas of my life as well. You trust yourself more and make grounded decisions about how you live.
who is this service for?
This service is for you if you are an energetic individual who is ambitious and takes their acting work seriously. You have some awareness of how your mind works and are prepared to invest fully with your heart and soul, recognsing that you will only reap the full benefits if you go all in. You are willing to take the risk and trust the process. You don’t want to spend another year doing the same old same old by sabotaging your acting. You can’t afford to feel stuck wasting another year of your life gettting more drained and depressed. You know that feeling negative and tired means you are less likely to get roles. You believe acting is your calling and you want to step closer to that. You’re willing to invest the money to get the acting and life benefits you crave. You want to catapault out of feeling trapped and spread inspiration and joy to others through your work. You want to be a succesful artist both in acting and in creating your life.
This service is not for you if you are not fully committed or if you expect a quick-fix. It’s not for you if you expect the coach-therapist to do all the work whilst you sit by passively awaiting answers. It’s not for you if you don’t like being held accountable, or don’t want to take responsibility for your unhelpful patterns. If not for you if you struggle with being challenged or receiving feedback that you may not like. It’s not for you if you struggle to show up on time or to show up consistently. It’s not for you if this investment is not one of your top priorities.
THE COST
£3000 - 3 -month package - 12 x 55 -minute sessions every week for 12 weeks.
£6000 - 6- month package - 24 x 55-minute sessions every week for 24 weeks
about me
I’m Alexandra, a highly experienced psychotherapist who has undergone 5 years of rigorous training and has been seeing clients for over 12 years. I’m passionate about acting and am training as an actress. I know first-hand what the challenges of acting in a truthful way are. In 1 1/2 years of training, having never acted before, I was boosted up 4 levels from beginner to advanced level. During the process I have struggled with all of the issues I help you to shift. I lacked confidence, I tried too hard, I was too tense, not connected to the text, felt numb, wasn't embodied and didn’t listen to my partner. As well as the amazing acting training I received I applied the therapy skills to unlock my acting. I’m not saying I’m going to win an Oscar any time soon and I have a long way to go however I really do believe the targeted therapy I provide can help actors create a positive shift. My approach is unique because it provides therapy within a coacing framework. I have the passion for and experience of acting as well as solid therapeutic skills to keep you safe as we do deep and effective work to truly shift negative behaviours. I believe that life is a gift and the best way we can show appreciation of this gift is through feeling joy and creating joy for others. Acting does that. As Sanford Meisner says,
“ being an actor is a religious calling because you've been given the ability, the gift to inspire humanity. Think about that on the way to your soap opera audition”. - S. Meisner
It feels like my calling to support you as an actor to inspire and uplift others through being truthfully yourself.
Apart from acting or trying to see plays, I love playing make-believe with my children, taking them swimming or into nature. Guilty pleasures are dark chocolate and zoning out to an episode of “How to Get Away with Murder”.